We’ve all been there—someone says something, maybe even something trivial, and suddenly you’re flooded with anger, hurt, or anxiety. You could have even watched a reel or read an article and felt triggered. It feels as if the person in front of you has hit a nerve, and poked at a wound you didn’t even know you had. This experience is often labeled as being “triggered,” and the natural response is to blame the other person for causing such an emotional upheaval. But what if the real source of this trigger wasn’t the other person at all? What if it was something deep within you, something unresolved that was simply brought to light in that moment?
Let me share a personal experience. I was in a room with a group of people having a casual conversation about work-life balance. The discussion was light, and everyone was sharing their thoughts. I was just listening, not actively participating, when someone mentioned how some people tend to overcommit and end up burning out. That comment, which had nothing to do with me, suddenly felt like a direct attack. My mind started racing with thoughts like, “Are they talking about me? Do they think I’m overdoing it? Am I being judged?”
These thoughts were fueled by my own insecurities about my work habits—insecurities that I hadn’t fully addressed. I could feel resentment starting to build, and if I hadn’t taken a step back to reflect, I could have easily harbored ill will or sent negative energy, or what some might call the “evil eye,” toward those involved in the conversation, all because of my unresolved feelings.
It was a moment of realization for me. The trigger wasn’t the conversation or the people in it; the trigger was something within me—something that needed to be understood and worked through.
Concepts of Triggers
Understanding emotional triggers begins with the concept of projection. The term projection refers to the unconsciously projected feelings, desires, or thoughts of an individual onto another individual. Essentially, it is a defense mechanism that prevents the ego from recognizing these undesirable aspects of oneself. In my case, I was projecting my own fear of inadequacy into the conversations and words of others, interpreting it as something else.
Transference is another relevant concept that is commonly discussed in therapeutic settings. Transference occurs when feelings and desires that were originally associated with one person (often from early life) are transferred onto another person. For example, feelings of neglect from a parent might be transferred onto a partner or friend in adulthood, causing disproportionate emotional reactions to their behavior.
However, the most profound insight comes from Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow. According to Jung, all people have shadows, a part of their unconscious mind that contains the fears, traumas, and unwanted desires that we deny or repress. The shadow isn’t inherently negative, but it becomes problematic when we are unaware of it. These repressed aspects can surface as emotional triggers when someone or something touches these hidden parts of ourselves.
For example, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology explored how individuals project their insecurities onto others, often misinterpreting neutral or benign behavior as hostile or judgmental. The study found that people with unresolved self-esteem issues were more likely to feel “attacked” by others, even when no offense was intended. This research highlights the internal origin of many emotional triggers, suggesting that what we often perceive as external provocations are actually reflections of our own unresolved emotional landscapes.
In-depth Analysis
So why do we often blame others for our emotional triggers rather than looking inward?
The answer lies in the natural human tendency to avoid discomfort. Self-reflection requires us to confront parts of ourselves that we may not like or that cause us pain. It’s much easier to point the finger at someone else than to admit that our emotional reaction might be rooted in our own insecurities or unresolved issues.
This is where self-awareness becomes crucial. Mindfulness, a practice that involves becoming more aware of the present moment without judgment, can be incredibly effective in identifying triggers. When we become more mindful, we can catch the trigger as it happens and pause to ask ourselves: “Why am I reacting this way? What is this really about?”
In my work as a licensed massage therapist and mind-body healer, I’ve seen firsthand how emotional triggers manifest physically. Clients often come in with muscle tension, chronic pain, or other physical symptoms that, upon deeper exploration, are linked to emotional stress or unresolved trauma. This is where bodywork and somatic practices come into play. By tuning into the body and paying attention to where tension and discomfort reside, we can often trace these sensations back to emotional triggers.
Research supports this mind-body connection. A study on mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) found that participants who practiced mindfulness and body scanning techniques were better able to manage their emotional triggers and experienced reduced stress and anxiety as a result. Similarly, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), a widely used therapeutic approach, helps individuals identify and challenge the thoughts and beliefs that lead to emotional reactions, offering a pathway to change these automatic responses.
Another fascinating aspect is how therapeutic practices like shadow work or energy healing—delving into the unconscious and integrating the shadow aspects of the self—can help manage triggers. By bringing these repressed parts of ourselves into the light, we reduce their power over us, leading to fewer and less intense emotional triggers.
For me, shadow work was the main reason I began my journey. I wanted to own all my misunderstood, unaware traits so they do not manifest into something more destructive, as some have in the past. I had to own my shadow and my ancestors, to help myself, my children, and my future legacy. But also clear and banish all negative personalities, energies, and spirits from my bloodline.
Conclusion
Understanding that the source of our emotional triggers is internal rather than external is both liberating and empowering. It shifts responsibility for our emotional health back onto ourselves, where it belongs. This doesn’t mean that others never behave in ways that are hurtful or inappropriate, but it does mean that our reactions are within our control, and they often tell us more about ourselves than about the other person.
By practicing self-awareness, mindfulness, and exploring therapeutic approaches like energy healing, CBT, shadow work, and more, we can untangle the roots of our triggers and gain greater emotional freedom. The next time you feel triggered, pause and reflect—ask yourself what this reaction is really about. With time and effort, you’ll find that understanding and managing your triggers will lead to healthier relationships, greater self-understanding, and a more balanced emotional life.
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